Hari Om.
Namaste Guruji.
Zoom is not working properly today. Maybe my network is not the issue, my homework is. For simplifying life, let us mutually agree it is my network that is the issue today. Sorry, I am unable to hear you when you ask questions. Now you are not asking the troublesome question and my network is back. I can hear you. God is kind. Ambani’s Jio is so good. I mean literally. Else, I would have never had the opportunity to be here and hear.
Oddly enough, ten minutes are over. Now my battery is dead, not of the phone. The phone is charged. I have the ampere and time to get whatsoever battery percentage I want, unlike my grades. I know, I know you must be wondering and thinking, “Why is my chela always pessimistic?” Then I would say, “Nothing like that. Just a visceral observation.” Anyway, let us proceed. My mind battery is down. I need to do something to charge it. My friends next door are playing PUBG and this gives me the impetus to get a kick which will excite my dopamine levels. But then, this time I am charged but my Jio account is not. I remember the sad message which I received a few minutes ago: You have used 50% of your 2GB daily high-speed quota. This makes me shut down my unscrupulous desire for gaming and get back to the class. I sip my Appy Fizz and take deep breaths to drive away the drowsiness.
Interestingly, now I feel things have changed. I feel better. I ignore the ticking clock, the lizard on the wall and the hustle-bustle of the streets. Yet, I find the vocal, annoying topper is perturbing my mental peace, Guruji. I mean, we all know that she knows. The question is such that everybody knows, literally. But then, I am too lazy, Guruji. I don’t want to turn the video on and show you my messy demeanour—my long hair, my artistic background and my funky tee. Hence, I chuck the idea of turning on my video and engaging in intellectual gymnastics. Phew! Happily, I see the dance of pure reason and academia through your interaction with the topper. Another sip of Appy Fizz makes me feel at peace. The lizard is no longer in sight, the hustle-bustle is less and I am completely focused on the lecture. Is this uncanny silence a signal for the Zoom hurricane? My mind raises valid questions based on my past funny experiences when I got the Zoom spotlight for no reason. Why the silence? (Itna sannata kyun hai bhai?)
Suddenly, out of the blue, I hear you want my insight. Insight on that weird, unheard of topic. I immediately muster all my attention and direct it to the question. I run a mind programme to search for relevant insights like running a search algorithm in a long array of unstructured knowledge panels. I see everyone waiting for me and I speed up the search. Waiting for something to refine and share. And then my hard work fructifies. I clear my throat to answer. With my signature style I start my answer and then a message pops up in the chatbox, “I cannot hear you. You are not audible.” I look at my phone’s network. I found the towers but like my life, I find the message on my Zoom saying: Your bandwidth is low. I rush to close the many background Apps. Finally, I am back and all set for action. I feel proud of myself for clearing my App history as though I finished my Swaccha App Abhiyan. The answer comes out finally. I look at the class like a victorious warrior who has finished a long battle. And then, I look at you. You are not as happy as I am. Why is this? Is the answer wrong? Or is it that you wanted more of me? Then, I hear those routine words, “Somewhat correct. Give me the name of the person who said this.” Luckily I remember that you made us write that name in our notebook. I remember the notebook, the day and the visual of the notebook but not the name. I find it annoying yet funny. Funny because I remember everything except the name.
A few minutes later, the class is over. I leave my room for a breath of fresh air. I walk to the balcony to enjoy the serenity. The buzz of my mobile phone makes me look for it. The message makes me question my life. The message says: You have exhausted 90% of your daily 2 GB high-speed internet quota on your number. This is when I remember I forgot to turn my hotspot off. My sweet friends were using my high-speed data to play PUBG and download all that jazz from Torrent. Ugh! Maybe now I can have tech-mukti; live in the real world, literally. Thank you Zoom ji. Thank you, sweet friends. Thank you, Guruji. Peace.
~ Aditya Raja
Second-Year B.A. Applied Psychology
